Response

Jealousy

Is it good or is it bad? Could it really be both? Jealousy is a trait that can consume any of us. People react differently when put in a threatening situation. Jealousy happens when a person feels that an important relationship is threatened by someone or something outside of the relationship, Jealousy can also occur in the context of a competition situations, such as the workplace or school.  Does jealousy differ from envy where you desire something that another person has? Can both occur at the same time? Furthermore, jealousy is the resentment that one has towards someone else. Jealousy can occur towards a rival, family member, or worst of all, your best friend.

Turning 16 years old is a turning point in your life. I couldn't wait to take my driving test and be able to drive my friends all over town. Being the oldest of your friend’s group puts all the pressure on you. I knew that after I passed my test, my parents agreed to buy me my own car. But this car was going to be special. I was not going to drive a beat up old clunker like the rest of the high schoolers.  I was going to drive a nicer, sportier car. My mom and dad surprised me at the car dealership with one of the cars I always wanted. It was the sports edition of the Chevy Equinox, all black, with tinted windows. It was a car everyone else would be jealous over. I was going to be on top, the cool one, the one everyone wanted to be, the one they all drooled over, and I was loving every second of it. The talk buzzed around school and I really liked all the attention. After 2 months of being on top,  my best friends turned 16 and he got his license. He has been my best friend since first grade long before you would ever think about driving. He also came from a family that was wealthier, where money wasn't so tight. He was first told he wasn't getting his own car and had to share his brother’s car until he went to college. But it did not turn out to be the case. His parents brought him a sparkling new 2012 Ford Escape. One any high schooler would dream over. It was fully loaded with all the bells and whistles. The tide turned and what I dreamed of everyone else doing to me, I was now doing to someone else. I acted happy when I saw him and was really happy for him, but I couldn't keep it inside for long. I was really jealous and I couldn't conceal it very long.

Why do we become jealous of one another? Why can't we be thankful for what we have? Jealousy just can consume us. It is a trait that neither you nor I could just turn off. It seems inevitable as something in your brain just makes you jealous. Whatever I did, I couldn't keep my mind off what he got. That it was unfair that he got a brand new car and mine was used. He put my car to shame, and he was the one that was getting all the attention. I was jealous of him and he was  my best friends. He wasn't doing it to be mean or hurt my feelings, but for me it felt like it. It gave me a feeling that he was trying to show me up, he was better than me, even though he wasn't in the slightest.

The difference about the trait of jealousy seems to be what side of the situation you are on. When I got my car, and I was the person that everyone else was jealous of, I loved it more than anyone. I felt like I was the special one and the one you wished you were with. I didn't care about anyone else but myself. Later when I got out done, the roles completely shifted. It is a completely different role when the situation is reversed. Now, I was unhappy with what I had and wanted something better. Even though what I had was perfectly fine and still much better than many others. But the jealousy trait inside kept me unsatisfied. I was jealous and wanted something that was not mine. Whatever I did I could not keep myself from being upset and wishing for more. I was the one jealous that I didn't have one of the best and coolest cars in school. All the other kids gave him more attention than me and made me felt left out. I was defeated, but not just from anybody, but from my best friend.

Some friendships are made to last forever. But they can go downhill quickly when jealousy enters the picture. Friends can become enemies in the snap of a finger. Take for example people getting jealous over other people. Girls seem to be the worse. I have a large group of friends many whom are girls who get jealous over one another. They get jealous over the clothes they wear, the places they go, the people they hang around with and the boys they date. Especially there is jealousy over what friends hang out  with whom. We are all great friends and get along with one another as a group, but there always seems to be one underlining jealousy issue. One girl is always jealous over another when we hang out and one or two girls get left out. It is a fear of losing your position in the group or may-be a fear someone is “moving in” and taking over their position in the group. They become jealous over the time spent together and who hangs out with whom. Even though we are all friends it starts a rivalry and brings out the worst of people. Then they start to “throw friends under the bus” to get ahead and make themselves look better. It is a destructive emotion, but could it be one in self defense?

Why do people have to treat friends like enemies when we become jealous? Some people are insecure and may be re-living a failed situation that occurred in the past. Why can’t we stop being jealous even if we are my friend? Are there any positives to being jealous over someone or something? Life hands us a great deal of difficult situations that we have to solve and rears its ugly head at the time we feel most threatened, This trait just seems to never turn off. It is always around us and it will always be there. If we learn to question our feeling to why we are jealous we may be able to take some constructive steps to what triggers our emotions and become a better person by trying to control it.